Yeah... it has.
I cannot even begin to tell you all what a year I have had thus far. If you read the last blog prior to this one, you had an idea at least how my love life was headed, but you had no idea, and nothing could prepare you for the year I have had to date... both good and bad.
But all of that is for another blog... Actually maybe another couple of blogs. There is no way I can put down the events of this year so far, and simply gloss them over. It is coming...
But for now, let me enter into this missive that has hit my mind at this late hour... The small hours, as Metallica would sing (even if it was a cover).
Dear Generation whatever... And by whatever I mean those born in the 90's, 00's, and onward.
On behalf of my generation, your parents most likely... I am sorry.
Well... Let's face it. You were born into a (excuse my english) FUCKED UP WORLD.
We all knew it. We all sensed it. We all grew up with Star Wars so ingrained in our brains that we knew there was a "disturbance in the force". We still brought you into this world, knowing full well the sins we were about to commit.
But guess what, I for one, regret none of it. Yes, that is right, I have no regrets. I have a 19 year old daughter who is still the center of my universe, whom I get to watch experience life now as an adult and eke out an existence that may or may not make her happy, yet it is all by her own hand. Not every child is like mine, but I can only hope there are enough of you out there who are old souls, who realize that the world is falling to shit, and your only hope is to be OUR Obi Wan Kenobis! Whether we call you "indigo kids", or something else, one thing is sure... There is more to this world than what we see physically, and a lot of you are born empathic, and not able to reconcile what is going on out there. I hope you find hope. Find your way, and do the right thing.
But, for now...
Let me take you back to the late 80s. A band by the name of Nuclear Assault... A thrash metal band, once sang the following lyrics:
"Look around the world you knew, say goodbye, it dies with you. Those who live when we are dead, shall curse our names... You've inherited hell."
Back then when that song was released I thought it was awesome. I never once thought it might apply to our kids, especially since back then I NEVER wanted to have kids... But since I became a father 19 years ago, every year it resonates truer.
As a matter of fact, it has almost the same effect on me as Pink Floyd's. "Time"... The only song to date that will bring me to tears when I hear it. (Any ex girlfriends reading this can vouch for that)
But what did Nuclear Assault predict? What did we all know, that we willingly brought you into?
Well, look around!
We have people like ISIS, who have taken what to me was one of the foremost Goddesses of the ancient world, and perverted it to mean something so abhorrent it should better be labeled XASTUR. (Look up your Sumerian mythology for the reference).
Then there is the state this country is in. Do we really need to go there?
Yes, I have lived long enough to see a black president in the white house, but what of the fallout of that? If nothing else this presidency has proven racism is still alive and well in America, and around the world. I will say for the record I am not a fan of our president, but be that as it may, that is my personal gut feeling, and nothing to do with his race, or anything along those lines.
If history has any bearing, the next president (or the one after) should be one of OUR generation. Can you imagine this country with a generation X president???
We as a generation are going to come to power. It is only natural. Yet what have we as a generation learned in our time on planet Gaea?
We were born in a time where the Viet Nam war was ending, and technology was coming into its own. We helped to build the internet, if not were its foremost users. We now make all the video games you play, after cutting our teeth on pong, pacman, frogger. Hell we were hanging out with Link before Link was even cool!
We have been the most extreme generation to date. Which other generation can claim music such as death metal as its generational hallmark? Which other generation can say they actively tried to kill each other on the dance floor, all for the lulz? We pushed the envelope so far that they had to issue new envelopes.
Is it any wonder why everyone is desensitized to extreme violence, sexual assault, etc? Our generation was responsible for bringing this to the forefront. We were the ones who fought the courts to say that Ozzy was innocent, that death metal did NOT lead to burning of churches, that being "weird" was the new normal. WE made it this way.
I often wonder if we lost our way. I often wonder if in our fervor to find ourselves, and shock the system into recognizing who we were, that we were not in the process sacrificing the values we were all taught, and which we now desperately try to teach our own kids!
Is it any wonder a lot of us are now "born again", and please let me know the last time and the last generation that this has ever truly worked to bring about world peace?
You know the world is fucked up when the biggest satanic death metal vocalist, Glen Benton of Deicide, is a FAR BETTER father, than most of the folks I see on my tv day in, day out.
I still support my generation. We are all pretty much in our forties or early fifties now. Metallica is now considered the kings of metal, and rock. In some cases they appear regularly as "classic rock". Does this strike anyone else from my generation as a little odd?
We're getting old, people. Like it or no, those ideals of never wanting to grow up, and never wanting to give in to the system, are upon us now. Sadly, our children, despite our "best efforts" have inherited these traits. Some for good, some for bad. You have only to view the news to discern which is which.
How many of us have cut our hair. In my case I was never graced with long hair. It's a black thing, I guess. I did have the mohawk and long ass goatee, but even now... I have to keep it in check.
Inside I am screaming. I WILL NEVER GIVE IN TO THE SYSTEM! THE SYSTEM IS A LIE! WE HAVE BEEN SAYING IT ALL THESE YEARS. WE'RE LIVING IN THE MATRIX!!!
Is it a self fulfilling prophecy, or did we know all along?
And... if we did know all along, why bring kids into it?
I am sorry generations of the now. I am sorry you have not experienced life on the edge as we have. I am sorry you will have no desire to. I am sorry you have to live in a world split by the need to "make things right" and the need to "fuck the whole world".
Most of all, I am sorry that despite how much I love you, I still subscribe to the Dark Angel motto:
"For this I don't apologize, because I leave scars."
Buckle up folks. Generation X is coming into our power really soon. If you think the world is insane now, just you wait. It is my only hope that those of us who held true to the ideals we had as die hard metalheads, will use those powers for good, and at least teach our kids that when you come into your own power, you too can make a difference, even if you have to break some eggshells doing it.
Right now we as Generation X need to seriously grow up. In so doing, we need to NOT JUST pay taxes, take our kids to school, and become active in our local politics... but we need to remember WHY we warned the world so many years ago about all the bullshit going on now. WHY we decided to check out of the system, only to check back in when it became apparent that our weirdness alone was not going to pay the bills.
WE need to come together and create the almighty moshpit from hell that will oust the people who are causing the chaos in this world, whom WE have willingly bowed down to and paid into, for the sake of our children not living through the things we had nightmares about, and wrote all those songs about, that will never see billboard's top 40.
I know some of you are doing great things out there. A lot of you are on my facebook friends list. The rest of us need to have that heart to heart with our kids and remind them why the system is flawed, (and make no bones about it people, the system IS FLAWED. It is designed so none of us can win) and why we felt we were brought into this earth to fix this shit. If we cannot... then one of two things will happen.
Either we need to teach our kids how to think like we do so that THEY can fix it... or we need to get off our duffs and do it our damn selves. Viva la revolution! Hey... we sang about it so long ago... Or were those only words? You tell me...
Or, on the contrary... maybe what the world REALLY needs right now...
is a good old fashioned APOCALYPSE. Ebola, anyone?
Why not... Gen Xers have been afraid of this for decades now... ever since the threat of Reagan falling asleep on the big red button.
Or perhaps... JUST PERHAPS... having kids was our one gift to the world... our saving grace, for a lost generation?
Next blog- My life in 2014 as we know it, and why I need to write a damn book. Eventually I will get back to writing about gaming.